I have a job in which I sit and desperately read computer manuals, because the lack of work now somehow ignites a fear in my mind that there will be uncontrollable amounts of work later. In which case I am inviting a disaster, like farting in a submarine. Or hiring a color-blind, dyslexic fashion consultant to pick out my graduation suit.

Outside of work, I really don't have anything to do. There's just this general apathy that takes over me in the summer. My best guess is that during winter, I need to keep my energy up to prevent from freezing to death, but during summer, the combination of warm sun and lack of hard work do that job for me. Like a freakish lizard-baby. A freakish lizard-baby farting in a submarine full of color-blind dyslexics. Only horror can ensue.

In recent news, Archie marries Veronica after a 70-year long love triangle. I'm a prude and even I realize that's way too fucking long to wait. I have always entertained in my mind the thought that Archie was just a comedic version of Hugh Hefner - or just a regular version, since Hugh is obviously already a fucking joke - and would end up with an entire harem of ladies from Riverdale High. I'm surprised his nuts still work, with all the random depraved sex that occurs just off-panel.

BRB