Tarzan has nothing on me

I'm 21, I have a car, a steady job, a good education, a gorgeous grillfriend, the opportunity to travel where my heart might so desires, a bunch of excellent friends, and perfect health, and I can't help but feel bad. Let's run away into the woods and live like animals.

I have twitter now. It's something I don't like but I'm forced to use. Like flossing, or pants.

If you ever get the chance to see The Decemberists in concert and do not go, I will kick your ovaries into a lake.

A band who plays a full album and then goes on to play another album's worth of songs, and then comes back with a three song encore is worth the burning, standing-for-four-hours pain in my shapely calves.